The Starship Enterprise, circling a planet
The bridge of the Starship, the CREW doing routine work
SPOCK, First Officer, Vulcan
Captain, may I be excused to go to the head?
Again, Spock? Damn, that Vulcan bladder must be the size of a walnut. Go ahead.
SPOCK leaves the bridge, CREW resumes work
SULU, Helmsman, Japanese
Hey, Cap, now I gotta go too.
What the hell? Well, go ahead. And tell Spock to quit playing with it and get his green ass back here.
I believe he would be in the Alien latrine, sir.
SULU leaves the bridge, Spock returns, CREW resumes work
CHEKOV, Navigator, Russian
I don’t know what was in that Klingon hotdish, Captain, but its running right through me
Go, go go. And tell SULU to get back here pronto.
Ah…he would be in the unisex toilet, sir.
CHEKOV leaves the bridge, SULU returns, CREW carries on
UHURA, Communications, black woman
Well, I don’t want to be left out, sir…
Go for it. Might as well. And tell Chekov to shag his ass back right quick.
I think Chekov is in the Men’s can, sir.
Dammit! Wait…in that case, I’ll tell him myself.
End of Scene 1